In the meantime, we’ve listed a few of the most common skills for surrogate mothers below. It was true that Halsey Street wasn’t our story. We weren’t estranged just like the mother and daughter in the book. I hadn’t written about abuse, solely emotional neglect. The daughter, Penelope, was outwardly vengeful, full of rage, whereas I’d spent plenty of power attempting to save my mom and forge a relationship. And Mirella longed for her daughter—the arc of the guide was formed by her need to reconcile.
As parents connect and bond with their infants, Dorfman says they study parenting expertise via follow and experience. While a few of this course of may be “unconscious,” she says it does not necessarily mean that it is instinctual. “This ‘maternal instinct’ of a sixth sense for one’s child and what they need comes from intense closeness and deep love, spending hours with and thinking about the child,” says Monk. It entails seeing the indicators because of a connection you’ve built with your child, not an instinctive understanding of motherhood.