You should choose the method to spend your precious “free time”—AKA during naps and nighttime—so it better be worth it. Becoming a mom gave me a feeling of purpose I had not felt before. I hadn’t identified this sort of love existed, I hadn’t known what I was lacking out on till I actually skilled it.
I don’t think you presumably can ever be the girl you were earlier than being a mother. I suppose you might be nonetheless a mother.I hope you get the love and help you want to become the woman you at the second are, one who has suffered and survived a horrible loss. I hope you discover a method to combine that loss and the love of the daughter who would in all probability want you to go on residing. I was away from my children for 2 years. She was 5 when I left and 7 once I returned.