I never knew suffering and adoration and exhaustion and pure pleasure until I had my babies. I weeped as a outcome of I all of a sudden understood what I actually have been lacking these past 4 years since becoming a mom, and why I have been feeling so confused on some deep level. I actually have been lacking the permission to grieve, to grieve the loss of the individual I once was and of my pre-baby life. I was never recognized with PPD but I cried for weeks after the start of my son and couldn’t understand why and what was wrong with me, and I had nobody to talk to about it. Because, like you said, its by no means talked about. And I stopped crying after a quantity of weeks, but the confusion stayed for the whole 4 years, until this very moment, because I never realized that I must grieve this loss.
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